did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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