Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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