What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
