Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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