Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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