Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
