We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize