I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
