I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
