M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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