I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
