just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
