Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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