Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
