Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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