I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
