Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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