I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
