He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
