he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
