cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize