it was like his penis was on wheels.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
