So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
