Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
