I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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