I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
