The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
