Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
