just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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