): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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