Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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