i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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