can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
smell my finger.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
