So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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