you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize