she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
