have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
