Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
