epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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