you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
