hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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