WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Randomize
