I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
