Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
