To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize