I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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