Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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