Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
