Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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