i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
