I'm lost and stupid without you.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
