are you so shy because you have an std?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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