why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize