do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You can't just leave with hair like that
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
