I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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