i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
