I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
