I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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