I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
