is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Michael Bay diarrhea
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
