I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
