I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sobbing to NWA
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